Faded
by bookworm26
Summary: She knew that she wasn't the person who she used to be. It scared the hell out of her. She still clung to her idealism, yet now, now she just felt like she was an onlooker, just watching herself from the outside and wondering where on earth she had gone.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Faded. (1/3)

Summary: She knew that she wasn't the person who she used to be. It scared the hell out of her. She still clung to her idealism, yet now, now she just felt like she was an on-looker, just watching herself from the outside and wondering where on earth she had gone. _It's because of him._

Note: Spoilers for Euphoria. Takes place after PT 2.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

Rating: Hopefully, eventually R. I'm easing myself into this. But it will at least end up being an exceptionally strong PG-13, if not more if I can manage it ;)

A/N: This is my attempt to try and get back into long-storied fics. I really want to write one, but nothing seems to be working for me at the moment, so hopefully this will get me back in the hang of it and make my muse pop out something a little longer than a couple of chapters.

Faded

_'I'm faded into someone else. Made me someone I don't want to be.'_

1.

Her shoes pounded against the pavement as she ran. Her hair stuck to her face as she pulled it back in a rough pony tail before gaining speed and running faster through the park, her hair sweeping over her shoulder.

Running was a form of release for Allison Cameron. The simple feeling of the wind against her body and the pure adreniline that pumped through her as she ran, gave her a sudden boost and allowed her to get out all the pent up emotion that bottled up inside her on a daily basis.

Cameron ran past an old couple sitting on a bench in the park and for once in her life did not find herself gazing wistfully at them, imagining her life at that age. It was a subtle change, something that wasn't very significant to passers by. Yet to Cameron, it was a much bigger change. She knew that she wasn't the person who she used to be. It scared the hell out of her.

The recent events had taken it's toll on Cameron. She ran around her neighbourhood more regularly, just needing to get away from the burden of reality. She stood up for what she believed in, she stood up to House, and she made a decision that she knew could change Foreman's life forever. Yet she did it anyway. Another subtle change.

_It's because of him,_Cameron thought, wiping her forehead on her sleeve as she continued running out of the park and down the street. She knew that working with House for 2 and a half had brought out something in her that she didn't know she had possessed. Her willpower had become more strong and although she still got emotionally attatched, she was finally allowing herself to push it back and make a formal decision, no matter what her feelings were on the subject.

Cameron didn't feel like herself anymore. And it terrified her. She still clung to her idealism, yet now, now she just felt like she was an on-looker, just watching herself from the outside and wondering where on earth she had gone.

House realised this change, Cameron knew this much. The look on his face when they had argued on the staircase after Cuddy had left Cameron in charge told her everything she needed to know. She didn't want him to see her vulnerability, and although she knew that he could, she was using everything she had to put up a shield; to prevent him delving any further.

Cameron stopped out the front of her apartment and breathed heavily, her hands on her knees as she attempted to regulate her breathing. She was sick of over-analysing this. She was sick of wondering what had happened to her and why she was feeling like this. She shook her head, shaking all thoughts of House and herself out of her head as she walked up her steps and up to her apartment.

When she had reached upstairs, she opened her door and headed straight to the kitchen, opening up the refridgerator and grabbing a bottle of water. She tipped it back into her mouth and allowed the cool liquid to trickle down her throat and cool down her body. That's when she heard the knock at the door.

Cameron's eyebrows creased and she put the bottle on the sink, wiping her mouth and walking towards the door. She wasn't expecting anybody. And it was her day off. Yet when she opened the door she was faced with the only person who had the nerve to show up at her apartment on her days off.

House.

He raised his eyebrows at her dishevelled form and leaned against the doorframe. 'Little hot, Cameron?' He asked, smirking.

'I've been running,' She replied, rolling her eyes.

'Clearly,' House said, standing up straighter. 'You should go shower.'

Cameron shook her head. 'Yeah. Thanks,' She replied sarcastically.

'I'll wait,' House said, leaning against the wall and staring at her.

'What is it that you want?' Cameron asked, shaking her head and folding her arms.

House shrugged. 'If you go have a shower you'll find out,' He said, tapping his cane on the floor.

Cameron rolled her eyes and stared at him. 'Fine,' She said, closing the door and walking into her bathroom.

xxx xxx xxx

15 minutes later, Cameron had showered and towel-dried her hair, changing swiftly into a pair of jeans and a top. Grabbing her jacket and keys off the bench she opened her front door and saw House in the exact same position as he was before, tapping his cane in a swift rhythm on the carpet.

'Took you long enough,' He said when he saw her.

Cameron rolled her eyes. 'What do you want?'

House gestured his head down the stairs. 'Come on, we're leaving,' He said, before turning around and limping down the hall.

Cameron stared at his retreating form with aprehension. She had no idea where he intended to go or why he wanted her with him. Hesitation was overshadowed by curiosity, as Cameron gave a soft groan as she locked the door behind her and followed him down the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Faded. (2/3)

Summary: She knew that she wasn't the person who she used to be. It scared the hell out of her. She still clung to her idealism, yet now, now she just felt like she was an on-looker, just watching herself from the outside and wondering where on earth she had gone. _It's because of him._

Note: Spoilers for Euphoria. Takes place after PT 2.

Rating: Hopefully, eventually R. I'm easing myself into this. But it will at least end up being an exceptionally strong PG-13, if not more if I can manage it ;)

Disclaimer: Don't own.

_'Faded, hated, I'm slipping away as I disappear in the dark. So far away from who I was at the start.'_

2.

The car was in complete silence as House sped the corvette towards an unknown destination. Cameron sat stiffly, her hands folded on her knees as she stared at the road in front of them. Neither said a word.

Cameron looked over to House, before snapping her head back to the dashboard. He was just staring at the road, no apparant expression evident on his face. This not only made her even more anxious, but also left her wondering what he wanted. It wasn't everyday he instructed her into his car.

10 minutes later, House pulled into a carpark and Cameron could see a sports field peeking out from behind the stand. He switched off the ignition, opened his door and limped over to the grandstand, leaving Cameron in the car by herself.

Cameron sighed, opening up the door, and stepping out onto the gravel. Slamming the car door, she turned to face where House had walked and began walking slowly in that direction. Her hands were forced into her pockets as the wind swept her hair back over her shoulder. She saw House sitting up the top of the grandstand, tapping his cane on the metal seat in front of him and staring out into the field.

Cameron walked up to where he was sitting and hesitantly sat next to him. She stared out onto the field, wondering why they were here and why he was staring out into the distance. She could make out a man with his son, maybe about 10 years old, holding a lacrosse stick. He was teaching him how to play on the empty field. Cameron redirected her gaze back to House.

'Why did you bring me here?' She asked, looking at him.

House didn't answer at first. He continued to stare at the man and his son before he opened his mouth. 'I used to play. Did you know that?'

Cameron looked back onto the field. 'No, I didn't,' She replied softly.

'I did. Used to play every weekend. On this field,' He said, not looking up at Cameron.

Cameron looked back at him gently. She was still confused. 'Why are you telling me this?'

House smirked. 'I'm attempting to use it as a metaphor. I changed. Obviously can't play anymore. You - You have changed as well,' He finished, finally cocking his head to look up at her.

Cameron tensed, sitting up straighter and looking out into the field. She didn't want to have this conversation with him. 'What are you talking about?' She asked, feigning innocence.

'The way you dealt with Foreman,' House began, 'The entire situation. You're more strong-headed than I thought you were. It intrigues me,' He finished.

Cameron stared at him. 'I did what I had to do. It had nothing to do with me,' She replied coldly.

'That's what I mean. For once in your life you didn't let your feelings get in the way. Which leads me to my original thesus. You have changed,' House said, knocking his cane against his knee.

Cameron glared at him before standing up. 'I'm glad we cleared that up,' She replied sarcastically, turning around and making to walk away.

A firm hand grabbed her upper arm and turned her around, stopping her in her tracks. House towered over her, staring down into her face as his grip on her arm didn't waver. 'Don't touch me.' Cameron said, her voice dangerously low. She noticed it cracked somewhat, the close proximity of House was doing dangerous things to her mind. She could feel his body heat radiating from his body.

House smirked, but did not move. 'See. Change. In any other normal circumstance you would of been too dumbstruck by how close I am to you to talk,' He said softly.

Cameron bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She could feel the tears pushing their way out of her eyes, but she didn't want them to fall. She didn't want House to see that he had gotten to her. That he knew exactly how she felt. She didn't want him to try and analyse her.

'No, I just want you to get away from -'

Cameron was cut off from her watery sentence by House's lips on hers. She gave a little gasp as he closed the distance between them, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. She grabbed a handful of his shirt and pressed back into him, moving her lips against his. He dragged his tongue along the bottom of her lip and Cameron opened her mouth in response, feeling their tongues collide in pent-up passion.

After several minutes, House broke off, staring her in the face. Cameron's breathing was ragged, as was his, and they both just stared at each other for a few moments while their breathing regulated.

Cameron's eyes welled up with tears and she looked away, angry with herself for crying. She didn't want to feel like this. And she didn't want him to know she was feeling like this. But he did. He always did.

House took a step towards her and grabbed her wrist, turning Cameron back around to face him. 'It's ok,' He said.

Cameron shook her head, tears spilling over her eyes and she wiped them away. 'No it's not. It won't be ok,' She replied, her grip tightening around her waist.

House just stared at her. 'Yeah it will,' He replied, letting go of her wrist.

Cameron looked back out onto the field, sniffing and bringing her jacket closer around her. It wouldn't all be ok just because he said so, Cameron thought. But even the smalled knot had been removed from her stomach. She hadn't had the chance to cry. She promised herself she wouldn't. Yet it came as a form of release.

'Come on,' House said, limping down the stand, 'I'll take you home.'


End file.
